What's Next for Nashville? You Can Help! (an update on that bridge that hears, tap dances and sings...)

This is an update to my last post regarding the recent name change of League of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing who merged with the EAR Foundation in Nashville, Tennessee to the lovely (please continue noting slight sarcasm) Hearing Bridges. I have more details this time around. There were 15 members voting on the name, while one member, who is hearing was absent for the vote. Just for the record there is only one person on this entire board who is deaf, Nancy Yater, and while she may feel out numbered, she isn't going anywhere! Her plan is to have an advocate committee of deaf and hard of hearing to bring their concerns to the board. (*ahem* One small concern comes to mind at the moment... but moving on....) There is also one hard of hearing member and one CODA (child of deaf adult). Just to clarify, 13 members who voted are hearing, one is hard of hearing, and one is deaf.

The decision to change the name from League of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing after 80 years due to the merge with the EAR Foundation was approved by a vote of 11-4 (with one member absent and not voting) in favor of Hearing Bridges as the new name. Nancy Yater, the lone deaf member of the board, and 3 others on this board were the only ones to dissent.

What’s really astounding to me is that, neither the CODA member nor the hard of hearing member voting, dissented. I think I’m more disappointed that a CODA was a consenting vote, because personally speaking most CODAs I’ve known have a special bond, not only with their parents, but with the deaf community as well.

On the other hand, I probably should not expect most hard of hearing people who have had no or very little connection with the deaf community to fully understand the dynamics behind this name, and to that particular group it might symbol hope to be more (as usual please note slightly more sarcasm here) “normal” one day, and to those who lost their hearing gradually or later in life, it really should be understandable to want to attain what they consider a normal hearing status quo… BUT that ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is exactly why this name is offensive to a large percentage of the population that this organization serves. To force that facade on all clients who don’t strive to be hearing…. will never be hearing… and live full lives in spite of not hearing...it's kind of like saying you're incomplete without hearing. The name doesn't exude an aura of support for those receiving services but instead gives a subtle (like...oh you know... a ton of bricks type subtle) air of superiority.

Look at it this way, it’s quite patronizing to name a place many profoundly deaf people go to for services HEARING Bridges. Seriously, would you send a man in a wheelchair to Walking Bridges? Or a blind woman to Seeing Bridges? Or how about that brunette girl to Blonde Bridges (okay that might happen..) ....but what about your dog to Cat Bridges? Seriously... no matter what that little mutt thinks...or what you want....he's just not ever going to be a cat! ....or how about we take a detour from Grandma's wild and crazy Bunco night and expect her to go be-bopping at Teen Bridges because if she tries hard enough she can be 16 again, right? Trust me, Grandma doesn't need to be 16 to have a good time, and I'm sure she'd find it maybe a little patronizing if you thought she needed to be in order to have a fabulous life. *SIGH* Not only is the name Hearing Bridges patronizing, thoughtless, and demeaning to the deaf community… it’s an OXYMORON. It just doesn’t have any rhyme or reason for the majority of the clients serviced by that agency.

My old friend from way back when, Kim Dance, is now the president of Tennessee Association of the Deaf, and she sent me a copy of an email that the board chair, Ron McCoy, has been sending out to various members of the deaf community in regards to this sticky situation. I have permission from Kim to share it here and all I’m doing is copying and pasting as is. If you are anywhere near Nashville the day of this meeting please go give this group some moral support and spread the word. The address for the meeting is 415 Fourth Avenue South, Nashville, TN 37201. You can also join the group “People opposing the new name HEARING BRIDGES instead of LDHH” on Facebook by simply clicking on the title of this post . Numbers speak volumes. Personally, I hope the board opens their eyes and invites the deaf to join them... no....make that encourages them and welcomes them with open arms, willing spirits, and GENUINE smiles on their faces.... who better to learn about the deaf community than from say... the deaf community perhaps? Just a parting thought.... and now for the email from Mr. McCoy...

From: McCoy, Ron R

Sent: Monday, November 16, 2009 2:49 PM
Subject: IMPORTANT - Town Hall Meeting - Thursday December 3rd at 7:00pm at Hearing Bridges

Hello all:
Hearing Bridges formerly known as the League for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing and the EAR Foundation will be hosting a town hall meeting with the community on Thursday December 3rd at 7:00pm at Hearing Bridges.

The Board of Hearing Bridges will be the host of the meeting.

It has been brought to this Board's attention that many of you would like an opportunity to communicate with the Board directly regarding the name change, and the Board would like to collect more information. Please understand that there will not be a direct resolution that will come from the meeting that evening, and it will allow the Board the opportunity to listen to your responses both in support and against the name change.

There will be some simple ground rules for the meeting to facilitate o! rder:
1) Each person present will be given 3 minutes with a 1 minute warning to air their grievances, ask questions, or present to the board their opinions.
2) There will a platform for each person to present. In courtesy of each presenter we ask that all other persons remain seated.
3) The Board would like the opportunity to ask questions of each person that speaks in order to collect more information with a 2 minute time limit.
4) The process of recognizing each person will be announced that evening, and it will be fair and orderly. The goal is to give everyone the opportunity to speak.
5) Please no personal attacks and/or slanderous remarks and profanity.
6) This meeting will begin promptly at 7:00pm and end promptly at 9:00pm.

There will be interpreters present at this meeting.

We would love to have each and every one of you come to this meeting, so please do. This meeting will mean nothing without YOUR direct involvement. Pleas! e come, regardless of your stance it will be a great opportunity for the community and the Board to get to know each other.
Thanks,
Ron McCoy
Board Chair

Seriously Board Members.... HEARING Bridges?

Tennessee is my home state. I'll always feel grateful for the opportunity given to me to represent my home at the Miss Deaf America Pageant years ago when I was still so new to the Deaf community. I was completely accepted and treated with respect. I received so much help during that time, whether to carry out my state duties or to prepare for pageants. They didn't care what kind of school I went to or what my first language was, but they were very patient with me and helped me learn to communicate in my new world. All they wanted to do was welcome me to a group they said I belonged to as well, and although I felt different at times as I was still learning the language and the culture, I never felt out of place.

Even though I've since moved to Texas I've never forgotten the kindness I received during those years or the friendships I made. That's why I was so disappointed for the people of Nashville and Tennessee when a situation came to light this past week that seemed to strip them of any dignity or pride they might have in an organization they'd come to rely on and believe in over the years.

The League for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing (LDHH) a non-profit in Nashville recently merged with the EAR Foundation in Nashville. I honestly do not have all the details myself yet, but I am doing my best to find out along with the rest of the deaf community in Tennessee. However, since the two merged LDHH and EAR Foundation has now been renamed by the board as HEARING BRIDGES. Tsk. Not Deaf Bridges... Not even Deaf & Hearing Bridges... Just HEARING Bridges. Personally, I'm stunned. Someone dropped the ball. What did they think? This was catchy? No one would miss the word "Deaf"? What a slap in the face to those this organization has spent decades serving.... and to add insult to injury this name was revealed with great show at an event in front of many deaf and family members who waited expectantly after having read this exciting tidbit on the LDHH blog... "Since our merger with the EAR Foundation last September, the board of directors decided to change the agency’s name to reflect more accurately the folks we serve and the programs we offer." (See for yourself at http://hearingbridges.org/blog/ ) This is an organization that claims to bridge the deaf, hard of hearing, and hearing communities by mostly providing services to the deaf, and this is the name the board felt BEST described the wonderful work done there? Ugh. This is like taking a Martha Stewart cake out of the oven and letting Oscar the Grouch pick out icing from the bottom of his trash can to top it off. Lovely.

I hope the deaf community in Tennessee is heard loud and clear and with eyes wide open by this wonderful organization of EIGHTY years. I hope the media responds to their requests to be heard and seen and understands why this name is so demeaning and runs with it. I also hope everyone remembers this was a decision made by the board members and not the staff, and that is where grievances should be placed. People on Facebook can show their support or participate in discussions by joining the group "People opposing the new name HEARING BRIDGES instead of LDHH".

That thing I want to do when I grow up......

Wow, the summer months have just whirled and twirled by leaving me in a cloud of dust facing fall wondering where all the time went. To back up a little, back in June my husband had just come home from the hospital, and we were trying to decide how we were going to get up on our feet again. Owning a construction company doesn't allow for too many sick days, much less a complete halt to business for weeks at a time, but that's exactly what happened to us not just once but twice this summer when James became extremely ill. It certainly did make us examine our priorities more closely and lit a fire under me to "do something".

I had been playing with different ideas of contributing more directly to our family business than just behind the scenes on the clerical and advertising side, and one day I made a definite decision. James came home, and I told him I had enrolled that day for six hours of classes starting in July for online real estate classes at the local community college, and in a short six week session I not only knocked those first six hours out, I added three more hours at the same time on campus! That was just the beginning of a crazy load I've been carrying since then, and for once in my life I love the classes enough to not care that I'll do as much in six weeks now as I used to do in four months the first time around in college. Ah, youth.

A few of the classes I've had so far are real estate law, contracts, agency, and marketing. Next week I'm going to the courthouse with my co-op class to watch foreclosure auctions. Later this month I'm going with my co-op class to a real estate expo that I'm really looking forward to attending.... and to think the last time I was attending an expo at the same place with maybe a *little* more excitement was for the Bridal Extravaganza in 2005. My professor is really cool and has invited James to come along for field trips and to visit the co-op class anytime, and he came with me to class last week. He's going on both field trips which will be a great chance for him to network himself with Realtors.

Getting into real estate has been an idea forming for several years. We've met and worked with many Realtors through my husband's business, and James has occasionally mentioned I should consider it myself. I've always held back though because frankly the field intimidated me for several reasons, and my deafness was right smack dab at the top of the list. It was one of those careers I put nearly up there auditory-wise with singing on American Idol, flying a commercial aircraft, or waiting tables at Hooters (intimidating for more reasons than nerve damage!) Houston is quite a diverse city. I do well enough to read lips in person of accents I'm not familiar with, but to imagine taking calls from anyone I didn't know terrified me. Impossible. Ummm. No. Just no. Am I okay with it now? It's a work in progress, but it's not a firm no anymore... it's not a hopping up and down enthusiastic yes either. It's one of those things that is just tricky right now. I don't have all the answers yet, but I know there will be answers, and that somehow this is all do-able.

So there we were in June pondering what we were going to be when we grew up, or at least I was. I thought about going back to school for a masters in counseling, but in the back of my mind was this dream of selling houses or finding houses for a happy buyer, and there was the thought that maybe with my improving auditory skills I might be able to do this... maybe. I just could not let the thought go for anything. Yes, as people like to remind me, this housing market is lousy at the moment, but it's a great market for investors...and the market is not going to be bad forever. By the time the market bounces back, all the new kids will be jumping on the bandwagon and signing up for real estate classes. I'd rather learn the business now when times are tough and be ahead of the game by the time the new competition comes along.

Something else that all these classes have helped me realize is that Houston is just enormous with so many possible angles of real estate to explore in the future, and I don't have to decide right now. I'm just happy that I have these ideas to mull over. Just last week in class we talked more in depth about real estate mediation, and I must admit that grabbed my attention for down the road... maybe a way I can tie in counseling and real estate together one day? Who knows? I also have a great teacher that reminds me how much I once loved teaching for the sake of teaching.... She has so much joy. Maybe when I have a few years of experience I might want to teach again? So thinking along those lines I decided to shoot for the associate degree in real estate to be more well-rounded and *hopefully* I will be able to finish the classes for it by this spring, but I'll be taking the state licensing test most likely next month because I will have the required classes for the license done very soon. I also have a great husband who just wants me to get my feet wet the first year and just network for our company through contacts I make in the real estate field. The ideas are endless.

I'm so busy with the ridiculous amount of classes I've piled on myself that I have barely had time to stop and think how I'm going to pull this off or worry about my confidence level. I know I need more tools to succeed in this business. I have a new cell phone (my first!!!), but that particular phone is not strong enough for me to have a detailed conversation with someone I don't know regarding business. I have a lot of research to do to figure out how to use technology to my advantage to make up for some of my weaker areas. Just the idea that I'm doing something now that I've wanted to do for a long time but never thought I'd have the confidence to do is really exhilarating.

I'm grateful that having a cochlear implant has opened the door to this idea, but I know that deep down I probably had the ability to pull it off all along and could have found a way to do it. The cochlear implant makes it easier though to work with the hearing public. Of course, I especially hope I can work with the deaf community. From my research there doesn't seem to be any other deaf real estate agents in Houston. I'm also grateful that I grew up watching my aunt, Pam, work her way to the top in Chattanooga as a top Realtor. She is a great role model. I remember years ago when she just started taking classes and now when I drive home I see her on billboards! She's really awesome and a great inspiration!

So... stay tuned... more to come soon. :)

Mapping #8---A Great Visit!

What a whirlwind the last few weeks have been! I can't believe my last post was my last mapping, and here I am with my newest results of my eighth mapping from last week. Short and sweet.... my impedence test came back normal so that means the internal equipment is given the all clear and doing its job! *WHEW!* I'm so excited about the test scores.... 96% on the sentence test (same as last month, and I only missed two words :) and 78% on the words (HINT) test... up from 64% from the month before!

My husband had another round at the hospital this past month with a case of pancreatis and a staph infection that evidently didn't clear up that he got while he was in the hospital in May from an IV! He is slowly building his strength back and getting back to work. Thank God for his health. Things could have turned out much differently if we didn't get the diagnosis(es) and treatment when we did.

Needless to say between my two guys, I've been on the run lately without a lot of time to blog. Stay tuned though.... I'll be back very soon with a real update on my life (not just stats and numbers on hearing beeps and words ;) and a real decision on what I'm going to be when I grow up. I'm so excited about what's in the works!

Mapping #7---Waiter, there's a fly in my ear.....buzzzzzzzz.....

To preface this post.... yes, it is about a mapping. Yes, it's my seventh. Yes, I realize some people *ahem* in the blogosphere world are overinundated with the newbies to the mapping experience blogging on every last single technical detail. Please feel free to note that not all of my posts are related to my cochlear implant experience and include quite a bit of my exciting life as a mom to a two year old. Oh yes, even from here I feel the deaf peeps out there dropping like flies from the sheer boredom of.... oh.... another mapping? and oh... mommy to a two year old? *smile* This is simply my record of my journey with a cochlear implant and the mappings are important benchmarks in this experience, although they may not read as the most exciting blog posts.


There really aren't too many of us that grew up with a severe to profound loss that are blogging on the experience of receiving a cochlear implant as an adult. From casual observation, most adults with implants seem to be the ones that are deafened later in life. I'm surely not the success story on the take home box of Nucleus Freedom accessories or the DVD passed out before surgery. No one is asking me to talk to new "recruits" and share my heartwarming experience. I didn't go to my first mapping and cry tears of joy. No, I cried tears of absolute horrid misery. For what it's worth, I do have video of my first mapping that I'll likely never share publicly, and I'm absolutely snarling in it (plus the one year old in the background climbing furniture is absolutely priceless.) :-P So, in the spirit of my journal, I'm recording ANOTHER. FLIPPING. MAPPING. SESSION!!!! ....and if someone else wants to think about doing this and reads my blog, they'll get as always... the good... the bad... and the ugly from my point of view. So... that said... on with the show.


Today's mapping was actually an emergency session for me... not necessarily of the most dire kind, but I was fairly frustrated. I've been experiencing so much static popping and background noise that it was really disrupting my listening pleasure. To compound matters, while I could still hear fairly well with the CI, I wasn't having any new break-throughs and sound clarity, especially with voices, was regressing. I started asking my husband, James to repeat things several times or opted out of conversations with him because it seemed like too much energy to comprehend. Talking to him on the phone has been short and quick because his words started sounding slightly muffled. I could almost catch what he was saying, but I missed more than I was getting, and that wasn't without serious concentration on my part. My video phone needs to be re-routed with someone from the company and is down, so I haven't even had that as a back up lately.


My audiologist fit me in on a day's notice by seeing me yesterday morning (and not for lack of not having too much on her plate already... She's just cool like that... but I've established that already in previous "ode to the cool audiologist" posts. :-) None of the maps were working that we were trying out, so she went ahead with both tests to check the electrodes (listening to the beeps and the neural test... and if someone wants to give me the official name to each to refer to once and for all, I'd appreciate it.) The gist of it was my old map was out of compliance and causing distortion, but something about my electrodes has changed slightly and is now being "monitored". My audiologist consulted with another audiologist, and she assured me that my electrode test was within normal range, but yet... big yet.... it was different enough to need to be tested again in 3 weeks to make sure all is well. *IF* there is a problem it's with the internal equipment... yep... I said I would share the good, bad, and ugly, didn't I? I'm being monitored to make sure the equipment locked and loaded and sealed inside my head is functioning fine. Nucleus has great reliability, and my testing isn't cause for alarm, but it's never fun to have to wait and make sure everything is actually okay.


Meanwhile, my audiologist finally gave me a mapping that clicked and made me go "ahhhhhhhh". Two hours after I arrived we were just starting to get somewhere. I felt so bad for her because she is a perfectionist, and I knew my situation being tossed at her yesterday was a handful and not fun. She said she gave me a map that most people would hate. She says it's pretty unique. It's in compliance with my electrodes so that distortion shouldn't be a problem like it was when I arrived. She basically said she did it by changing the parameters and beyond that I have no idea what she did... just that it worked at the time.


She wanted to do some tests before I left. I sat in the booth and could swear there was electrical buzzing. She came in there and listened and said there was something so I assumed it wasn't static. So much for soundproof booths, right? She actually told me that's a falsehood anyway and that these were just more sound resistant, not sound proof, not something my little deaf self ever noticed. The test scores were ridiculously great. In June I had 79% on my sentence test (HINT test). Today? 96%! Sur-stinkin'-real! :)



Right when I thought the guy on the recording and I had a blossoming relationship, he trampled it with his horrible one word test. This is the first time I've had this test post-CI, and I was blown away by how fast the guy went.... He would say "ready...*quick pause*... boat" one second pause "ready *quick pause* make"... Jeeeeeeeeeeez Louise!... I couldn't hear myself think because half the time I was saying what I thought he just said as he was saying "ready" before the next word, which would make me lose my thought, panic, and ...then... rinse and repeat! I could never just relax and catch up with that guy... He definitely was NOT from the south... and that test was LOOOOOOOONG. I do. not. like. that. test. I scored 64%. I liked my other much score better. :-P



For the last test, we did the usual bells and whistles to plot the lines on the audiogram. Seriously... not bad.... 15-20 decibels straight across the board. Last time it was 20-25 decibels... so it was about the same... but a little better. One example of how much my audiogram is changing... at 6000 Hz, I have a 120 db hearing loss (and that is with or without the hearing aid on)... We are talking... deaf as a doorknob... flat out.... not a peep to be heard...completely deaf.... but pop on the CI on it's 15 db. Boggles my mind still. Technology is pretty amazing. Needless to say, my brain hears sound at that level.... it doesn't necessarily mean it's processing information at the level, but it's all uncharted territory for my noggin anyway.



So fast forward to this evening.... and the static is back somewhat, and it is annoying me to a degree. I can still hear well in spite of it, but right now I'm relaxing without it on because I need a break from the buzzing in the air. I had it off earlier when I was getting Aidan ready for bed, and I couldn't understand anything he was saying. I didn't realize just how much I have come to rely on it for understanding my son, and that was extremely frustrating to pretend to go along with what he said just so I could finish getting him ready for bed at the time. I put it back on while we read books because we do like to talk as we read. I am glad that I've started teaching Aidan some basic signs, and this just reinforces my desire to continue that so we don't ever have a reason for not being able to understand each other. The static's not too bad, but I'm concerned of course. Most likely this will work itself out in time. I'm not sure my audiologist is going to be really thrilled to open my email in the morning and read tonight's news, but she did say she will be seeing a company rep this week so she can go over my case with her.



....and that is the bare naked truth.... the good, the bad, the ugly visited yet again....

I Lub You!

When Aidan was a baby, I thought briefly about teaching baby sign language classes. I should be a natural, right? I am deaf... I am a teacher (okay...currently on a 4 year "break" at the moment from that particular profession but 12 years in combat counts for something)... and I had a beautiful, dimply, sweet, and non-complying little wild bambino. *sigh* It's the non-complying part that killed the deal for me. Bless his heart.

Here I am... Deaf mom extraordinaire with the little wonder child she can hold up to demonstrate to her classes and say... "Look! This is what your baby can do!" Only problem? The child. would. sign. nada. *pulling hair* Worse yet? All the hearing moms I talked to that claimed their two week old could sign the alphabet, even count to 100, AND sign every animal at the zoo. Yes, they were just two week old babies, I'm sure. Yes, these moms were all online so they might have exaggerated a bit. No matter. I couldn't lie. I said... he can sign "up". Yes... he could point up. It's a sign. It counts.

I threw in the towel. I said to myself, when he can talk, I'll start teaching him signs! He'll learn! He may learn at the age when it's not so hip anymore, and the other moms have moved on to compare how colorful their children's SPOKEN language is... and how long their sentences are, but maybe we were meant to march to our own drummer because sentences in this household for the two and under crowd are pretty. darn. short.

So... one of my child's biggest hobbies is raiding the refrigerator. Fortunately his dad and I are getting much better about locking it since the egg episode (don't ask!) He will come to me and point and yell for "cheese, cheese, cheese!" So in the name of food, my child has finally begun to learn a few signs willingly. He can sign "Mommy please", "Daddy please", and "thank you" which are much more pleasant ways of being directed to food. He is a little sponge and tries to copy every sign I teach him. He finds it fun! Yay! This is much easier than trying to demonstrate anything visual to a hyper busy baby that is much too busy looking at anything and anyone but his mother when she is actively standing in front of him squeezing her hand and exclaiming, "baby... look! look at Mommy! Milk! Milk! Can you say milk?" Ah, those were the days!

He loves to sign "dog" and his attempt to sign "duck" is priceless. He will usually just scratch his head behind his ear when he is attempting to sign "cat" but he will verbalize "Sassy" after the cat in Homeward Bound, so I have to give him points in originality. My favorite signs to do with him? "I love you!" Aidan says something along the lines of "I lub you!" which is really cute. I lub him too.

Happy Father's Day, Pops!

May 2007 - Pops visiting newborn Aidan and big sister, Skylar in Texas.

Happy Father's Day, Pops!

I have a second dad. He's always encouraged me, and sometimes he even nags me just a bit, but he usually does it with a sense of humor. He's always walked the walk when he told me to go to school, buckle down and finish my degree. During the time I've known him he did just that himself and is now a vice president of a large company with enormous responsibilities and the respect of his peers.

I met him when I was sixteen and dating his stepson. My mom was his stepson's English teacher. My mom and his stepson both passed away unexpectedly within three weeks of each other when I was only seventeen. My mom had been sick. His stepson had not, but both losses left me empty.

They adopted me....Pops and his wife....in every way but legally when they could have just easily and understandably turned inwardly to focus on their own grief. My father was extremely grateful for the parenting back up since he was grieving himself and feeling quite lost.

Pops and his wife wanted me to move in with their family and made sure my head was on straight when they kicked me out next year (sending me straight to the dorms and my freshman year of college at the local university.) When senior year rolled around and I was living beyond my means, I moved back in for a year. Of course then I got a job and my first apartment and moved out (but not without a little parental prodding to send me on my way and make sure I was okay.)

Pops and his wife (she's my second mom, but today is about Pops, although I'll definitely tell her story one day) have always been there for the heartaches and the triumphs. When my grandparents died, when my father died.... they were there.... When I was crowned Miss Deaf Tennessee they were cheering loudly, and I'm pretty sure they had their hands in the air along with the rest of the crowd. Graduation day? Their relief and pride were beyond words.

I eventually moved to Texas to "see the world". I became quite independent. A few years later when I told them I was getting married, Pops first question...."Who's giving you away?" They gave me the wedding of my dreams, and Pops did just what he wanted to do for years and years... He gave me away. Of course I've always found my way back home to Pop's house over the years. Now I just take a husband, a stepdaughter, and son with me. The kids call him Poppy, and they adore him too.

Happy Father's Day, Pops!

I love you!

Michelle